Expressing one’s self sexually has evolved and has taken many different forms throughout time. Kinks and fetishes were always there, however, their inclusion in mainstream media and our exposure to them through the internet is what has helped raise awareness regarding them. This is why BDSM, Sugar and Polyamorous relationships are now widely practiced and accepted. However, have you ever thought what would happen if the closed the gap between any of two of these? What would a marriage of BDSM and swinging bring to a relationship?

Both lifestyles, that of swinging and BDSM are practiced and loved by thousands of couples around the globe. Both these help couples introduce adventure, energy and excitement to their lives and let us discover the parts of us previously unexplored. So, wouldn’t two lifestyles that are extremely exciting on their own, bring even more buzz to a couple’s life if coupled together?

BDSM & Swinging: Similarities
Though very different when it comes to the basics, at their core, BDSM and swinging are both provide us with ways to express ourselves in a newer, more exciting ways. While adopting these lifestyles can be a slow process for many, once they have experienced either one of these, they find out that these alternate styles of sexual expression liberate from the few, already decided ‘rules’ of how sex or intimacy should be. They decide the terms for their relationship and realize this is how it should always have been.

However, both BDSM and swinging also provide partners with a safe manner to practice their kinks and fetishes. From the outset, partners sit together to define limits – what works for them and doesn’t. Abiding by the decided terms promotes trust, the building block of any successful swinging dynamic or BDSM relationship. Furthermore, everything that happens between partners in a BDSM relationship has to be always consensual, and swinging is no different. The lines for communication should and are always open.

An Interesting Amalgam
If you are a couple who is looking to incorporate either BDSM or swinging into your relationship, we are assuming you must have been practicing either one of these already. Both lifestyles, while existing, also bring with them a set of responsibilities, which is why it is always suggested to ease yourself into the dynamic. This is why starting both at the same time can be challenging.

However, if you are a couple who has been swinging happily is now looking for ways to bring even more spice to your relationship, BDSM is the way to go! But BDSM is very different from swinging in the sense you cannot just jump into it. Play scenes in a d/s dynamic can be physically and psychologically draining. Take your time and research to learn about it. Once you think you are ready, do not involve another couple from the get-go. First, try the newly learnt skills with your partner. Only then will you be able to ease yourself into it and find your comfort levels and breaking points. Here are a couple of things you should keep in mind when looking to indulge in some BDSM adventure as a swinging couple or vice versa.

First & Foremost; Have Fun
Having too many expectations at the start of a new relationship is the reason why most fail. The same is also true for when you start dating a new couple. The people have just started seeing are new to you and you are to them. Things might not seem always right from the outset and even feel weird at first. This is because either they are new to the swinging lifestyle or you have very little idea of how BDSM works. Reading about something online and actually practicing it is bound to be miles apart!

However, you need to remind yourself that both lifestyles are about exploration. They are about experiencing what you haven’t before and learn along the way. Things may not feel perfect from the start but once you work you way past the initial, awkward learning phase, coupling swinging and BDSM has the potential to bring you an experience that will keep you coming back for more. All that’s needed is a mindset that wants to have fun and is ready to open communication.

Continuous Communication
BDSM and Swinging have their similarities, however, the basic ideas of both are different. This is why open communication is always encouraged in both. You may be well aware of your partner’s needs, but you can’t assume these newer people that you have just started seeing want the same. They may want to add or exclude a few to make the experience worthwhile. The key is to find a balance. For instance, swinging involves sex, but BDSM does not have to always involve penetration. Discuss with your swinger buddies regarding your needs and set boundaries for your individual playtime and a new set of terms for when you are with them.

Keep in Touch With Your Partner
Again, you know your partner best, but involving someone else in your relationship can be hard for either one of you. You may do just fine, but your partner may not be as comfortable with sharing themselves. Adding another into a relationship, something that is very personal can cause all sorts of complications and the least thing your partners wants from you is to not be there when you need them. You are bound to have second thoughts and if either one of you feels differently, there’s no shame in stepping back and reevaluating.

Utilize Your Community
Besides Using Dommez for all your BDSM and swinger desires, both Swingers and BDSM practitioners tend to have close-knit communities. If you are a part of one of these, try and talk to a couple who has already experienced the BDSM or swinger lifestyle. For swingers looking to hop on the BDSM bandwagon, you could try visiting dungeons or BDSM related events (you can find information regarding lots of them over the internet) to talk to experienced BDSM couples and learn some kinky stuff while you are there. Talking to people who have already been in either one of these lifestyles will help take some pressure off of you.