Being collared in a BDSM relationship can mean a whole lot of things for different people. For some, it is a start of something with their BDSM partner who has been with them for a long time, for others it marks the start of a training phase. The meaning of the collar depends on every individual submissive and dominant dynamic, but whatever the relationship between a submissive and dominant, being owned and collared is a special moment which you should not rush it.
The collar symbolizes a new level of commitment. The time for which a submissive has to be collared can be defined by the BDSM couple. For some collaring lasts for a scene and for others it is a lifestyle. However, there is no specific meaning of a collar you need to stick with. A collar can mean anything a submissive and dominant want it to mean. This is a decision a submissive or dominant can make on their own or as a couple when in a relationship. The point is that the meaning of collar should be clearly defined and this takes time. Rushing into something as major as collaring in a BDSM relationship can hurt your submissive dominant dynamic.
Once on the Same Page, Proceed
Once a dominant and submissive have decided the meaning of a collar, they can then move towards introducing it into their relationship. It is advised to not introduce collar into your relationship before you have known each other well. Would any vanilla partner offer the other an engagement ring on the first meet? Well, this is sort of the same thing.
Before you take the next step to ask yourself if this is the person you see yourself serving for a long time? Will each you be able to fulfill each other’s needs? Once your mind answers with a resounding YES to these questions only then should you proceed. Share your fetishes and kinks with each other to further gauge the level of compatibility amongst yourselves.
Earn Your Collar
Want to be collared by your dominant? You will have to earn it by showing that you can be a great submissive. If there are any trainings your domme wants you to go through, you might have to ace them to show her you can be the right choice. No time limit is defined as to when anyone can offer a collar, this completely depends on your dominant. Also, some couples love showing their commitment to the world which is why they hold a ceremony for collaring while others just let it be an intimate affair.
Can One Ask For a Collar?
Sometimes, yes. But that can only happen when you yourself feel that you have shown them enough of yourself and are confident that they would consider you for collaring. Only when you know each other enough can you guess if it’s the right time to ask for it. Asking a dominant to collar you can boost their ego as someone they care for is now asking to take their BDSM relationship to the next level.
Not many submissive ask their dommes to collar them, which is why when you do you should ask them with all your heart. Go all in, declare that you would love to service them and tell them why you want to be collared by them.
When Finally the Time Comes…
It is indeed a very special moment when your dominant finally decides to offer you a collar. It may have taken a lot of efforts on your part to reach this place and the dominant will have also considered enough before offering you a collar. The collar means that your dominant thinks it’s time to take the relationship to a new level. A ceremony can be held, the extent of which can be decided mutually.
However, even when they offer you a collar, you still should ask yourself if they will be able to fulfill your needs and expectations. The BDSM lifestyle does not encourage you to compromise on your needs, it is for those who want to live their life to the fullest. There is no one forcing you to accept the collar, you should only do it if you see that person capable enough to provide you with the relationship you need.
