Most people think of sex whenever BDSM dating is mentioned when the truth is that BDSM is a lot more than just sex. Dominants and submissive do not always act their roles out in a closed setting such as a bedroom. Submissives enjoy being obedient to their dominants in a whole lot of other ways as well. If we were to define what BDSM is in the simplest of words, we’d say it is simply the exchange of power and control from one to another. BDSM is also free for partners to interpret as they’d like. There are no set rules or boundaries, the partners make their own at the start of a relationship.

This is primarily why BDSM is extremely interesting and vast. There are a lot of ways to experiment in BDSM, but one thing is certain, BDSM isn’t more about sex as much it is about equal involvement from both sides.

BDSM & the Need to be Ordered
Imagine, you are in a vanilla relationship and are someone who isn’t particularly familiar with how BDSM relationships work, You wouldn’t like being ordered around, would you? It may come as a surprise to you but even submissives who practice BDSM don’t like being ordered around when at their day jobs. A lot of people who hold powerful positions by day are submissive by night because for them it is a way to let go of all the power and feel free for once.

Being ordered in a relationship only feels good once you know are consensually surrounding your power and letting the other one take control. Only then can it gradually become a part of you and make you feel free while you’re actually physically bound.

BDSM and obedient behavior is hot! But similar to monotony in bed being able to lead to problems in a relationship, not satisfying a submissive can lead to boredom in an otherwise exciting BDSM venture.

Keeping an Obedient Submissive Satisfied
Being a dominant isn’t about showcasing your physical power at all. Instead, it is about a consistent portrayal of being in control at all times. It is about finding a balance between fulfilling the submissive’s and your needs and not being abusive while being dominant. When assigning a submissive tasks, always keep their comfort zone in mind and remember that it’s their right to take one step at a time. And whatever you do always be mindful of the fact that your partner is a submissive because they want to be ordered and controlled, which is exactly why you shouldn’t stop giving them that.

Unhappy Submissives Exist
Any submissive can get bored if their dome does not keep giving them what they need. There is a difference between needs and wants, a difference we often tend to overlook. We all want a lot of stuff, but we don’t all of that stuff, do we? Each submissive is unique which is why your goal as dominant is to keep getting to know your submissive better and keep giving them what they need to feel fulfilled. We know initially it keeps to get to know each other, but once you are over with those first few months of familiarising yourself with each other, here are a few things you’ll need to keep in mind as a dominant.

Consistency
A dominant needs to exercise their power at all times, not letting the submissive getting off track. This is a part of being a great dominant as well and is essentially how you will get them to follow your orders. A submissive may occasionally tease you by not following your commands to test if you are the right person to lose control to. This is where you have to stand firm. For instance, if your submissive is supposed to do the laundry on Friday, make sure you don’t let it go if they don’t want. Submissives love when their dominants are consistent in their assertion of orders and assigning of tasks.

Always Pushing Boundaries
BDSM dating doesn’t get boring because there are no limits as to where one would hit the end of the road. As a dominant always ordering your submissive to do more, you are not only giving your submissive what they need but also doing a favor to your relationship by keeping it interesting. Submissives expect their dominants to help them push their limits. A dominant can do so by giving challenging orders every once in a while to their submissive to see if they reached a point where they would like to add a bit more to your BDSM dynamic.

Submissives Are Goal-Oriented
Submissives are love to remain goal-oriented at all times, take mental notes of their dominant’s orders and keep ticking them off once they complete any tasks. Your orders are their goals which held them keep their submissive spirit alive. They’d be lost without these milestones you keep assigning them.

Wanting to Contribute
The more the partners contribute to a relationship, the more they are pulled closer towards one another. Since a submissive is always looking towards you to allow them to contribute, they’d be only able to do so if you keep giving them orders to follow. This makes them feel needed and valued and provides them with ways to contribute.