If you don’t judge them by what the media shows them to be, transgenders are regular human beings just like everyone else and this is why dating a transgender dominant top is not very different than any other domme for a submissive in the BDSM dating scene. Yes, there are differences when you really focus on some things but most of it is really the same. The differences that exist are there for everybody. We all have a different perspective on life and what we want from a BDSM relationship is affected by your personalities and psychology.

When wanting to date a transgender dominant top, you may can get confused at first, but if you follow the following tips, the process gets easier. It is about knowing who she really is and sticking to providing her what she wants from her submissive.

Educate Yourself
Any relationship is based on how well both partners know each other. Obviously, you can get to know each other before you’ve met or talked but in the case of transgenders, you can. Dating a transgender might be new for you, which is exactly why you should take time to educate yourself on who they really are.

You may think you know who a transgender is but it isn’t a one-liner by any means. Take the help of google and do your research before meeting her. Most importantly, don’t rely on the information the media such as TV and films has taught you because they are often times very far from reality. How well did they portray the relationship between a dominant and submissive in The Fifty Shades of Grey? Not entirely well, right? Conduct your own research so you don’t have to ask her about her condition on a date. She is there to have fun and find a BDSM partner and submissive, not educate you on what being a transgender is.

Comfort Levels
Everyone has a comfort level; this is not just true for transgenders but everyone around us. However, with transgenders, the meaning of comfort level gets changed and is affected by if they’re a man or a woman. Instead of thinking you know everything, ask them what they like and what they want from a relationship with you.

When they do open up to you and define boundaries, don’t ever cross those limits even when you get comfortable with each other. Sticking to rules is crucial in a BDSM arrangement; when something is off-limits, it just is. If you can’t follow the agreed upon rules and respect boundaries, both dating a transgender domme and the BDSM lifestyle aren’t for you.

Respect Her
She’s way more than just being a transgender. You may have had a lifelong fantasy of fulfilling your fetishes with a transgender dominant and transgender top but that doesn’t mean you only focus on that part. They aren’t just there to satisfy your needs and fulfill your fantasy; relationships are about connecting on other levels too. Only when you take care of her needs will she be able to take care of yours. Thinking of her as more than just a transgender means you respect your trans partner for who they are inside. Keep learning more about them to enhance the level of connection of both enjoy.

Know Your Responsibilities
Now that you’ve familiarized yourself with who she is and what she wants, it’s time to know what you need to do in order to satisfy her. Domme’s have loads of responsibilities in a BDSM relationship. They are responsible for controlling their submissive but not abusing their powers. They are responsible for the needs and safety of a submissive too.

Similarly, submissive bottoms have responsibilities too, but they are different from a dominant of course. Responsibilities of a submissive include communicating as much as possible with his domme, doing everything to satisfy her and building trust.

Consistency
Dommes can get stressed from getting into roles if they’re too intense. They need you to be consistent with your behaviors at most times. Change and variety are fun, but if that’s happening on a daily basis it gets confusing. Would you like to learn who your dominatrix is every day?

Being consistent shows that you are committed to being who she wants you to be. We all learn each other behaviors with time and consistency helps there. If you keep changing every day, she’ll just think you don’t care about your BDSM relationship or there is no chemistry between the two of you.

Communication
Both the domme and submissive need to communicate as much as they can. If a submissive is holding things back, he is harming the relationship. If you have concerns about how she carries out certain things, you should talk to her. Without proper communication, problems will start arising and silently creep up to an unbearable level. As a dominant transgender top, she has to take of the psychological and physical effects of controlling you. When she is a transgender, she has her own psychological matters to deal with too and if you she has a submissive who doesn’t communicate, it certainly wouldn’t help.