BDSM dominant, submissive or switch, what are you? After it being introduced in mainstream media, BDSM dating has been on a constant rise since the past few years. A dominant and submissive cannot begin a relationship together until and unless they know their roles. Even before deciding on the pace of their relationship, BDSM partners need to know their kink orientation.

Two dominants may well be having a great time as vanilla partners but a dominant will obviously not want to with another dominant in a BDSM relationship. This means that individuals need to figure out their kink orientations before deciding on getting into a BDSM relationship. Many newcomers get confused with the responsibilities that come with being dominant and submissive. This confusion can escalate even further if an individual is attracted to both the dominant and submissive lifestyle.

Being A Switch
The term ‘submissive’ and ‘dominant’ are almost self-explanatory but figuring out and identifying yourself as a Switch can be confusing for you if you’re a novice. Being attracted to both submissive and dominant roles and not being able to decide on one can get frustrating. How would your partner or the community see you if you tell them you are interested in both roles? Questions such as these start popping in your head and mess up your thought process even more.

At this point, you need to remind yourself of a few things, the first of which is that anyone’s opinion shouldn’t bother you. Secondly, being a ‘switch’ is a role in itself and once you start exploring you’d soon get to know that you do like a BDSM role more than the other. It is just that you’d want to a submissive or dominant at times too. You just need to start experimenting and finding out what role you feel more confident in. You will have to figure this out for yourself as no one else can do that for you, and for that, you’d need to explore your sexuality.

Live Your Kinks and Fetishes
Fetishes and kinks exist in our minds. These are fantasies that we only share with partners we are the most comfortable with. To figure what role fits you best, you would need to let this fantasies out of your imagination and try them out in the real world. Only living these roles will help you figure out the difference between being a submissive and dominant. You’d soon find out what roles fits you best.

Communicate With Partner
Whether you are a new submissive or a dominant, jumping right in the middle of a play scene is never a good idea. How would you play your role when you don’t even know your orientation? You’ll be wasting your time and your partner’s too. An integral part of a BDSM relationship is honest communication. Once you think you’ve figured your kink orientation, go out on a date with them and talk to them about your fantasies. Share ideas, ask questions and speak about what you want from a BDSM relationship as specifically as you can.

If you cannot hold an honest conversation with your dominant or submissive you may not be ready for a BDSM relationship. Only when you know each other’s needs can you truly fulfill them. Kick guesswork out of the window, that’s the best you can do to give your BDSM relationship a great start.

Start Slow
Almost everyone to BDSM is tempted to start will be the most intense scene they know. Yes, it would’ve felt really great imagining the scene but acting out is far more different than fantasizing. Even if you think you are ready, you should start slow and gradually build towards a level of your choice. This way you’ll adapt well.

Every BDSM activity is connected to the mind. It is your fantasy you’re now acting out, and it is arousing you sexually. All of if it is psychological, which is why you should pay attention to even the minute of details and make yourself better where you lack.

Enjoy!
There is no better way of exploring your sexuality than being in a BDSM relationship. Focus on your role and have fun while doing it. Sex in vanilla relationships can get boring after a while but that does not happen in the BDSM world. There is just too much to look forward to. You can always level up; it is a never-ending journey of exploring your sexuality. Not only are BDSM partners always psyched about their sex lives but are also more satisfied as compared to vanilla couples.

There are lots differences between a submissive, dominant and switch but any role can be easily figured out if you don’t hesitate when communicating. Being a submissive won’t take all the power away from you and you won’t be in charge of your submissive even if you’re a dominant. A BDSM partner can only act out his role if the other allows him to do so. Everything is with the other’s consent. Communication is key to happy BDSM relationships but before communicating with your partner, communicating with your mind and body to figure out your kink orientation is crucial.