So you’ve come to the conclusion that you need submission and handing over your controls to someone to be happy and are actively looking for a mistress. You probably know that finding a partner that is right for you is hard but finding a BDSM partner is even harder if you don’t know where to look. First off, if you are new to the BDSM scene you need to know that being a male you shouldn’t be worried about the control you crave from a woman. Submission is a gift; you are completely handing over yourself to another being and that takes guts! Handing over control takes a major level of trust and hence being a domme is also a major responsibility.

Before we move on to how to find a mistress that always reciprocates the same level of control you want, being a submissive you should know that it is important to define your comfort zone, finding the right balance and establishing a safe word to prevent things getting out of hand. To find a domme suited to your needs, you should look at the right places and take the right steps, some of which are listed below.

Creating A Great Profile
Opting to create a profile on BDSM dating site is one of the best ways to find yourself a great dominatrix. However, before you start digging deep into the profiles present on a dating site, take some to optimize yours. You are an individual with unique needs and your profile should reflect who you are and what you want in a domme. You don’t have to be direct in stating what level of control you want; you can describe yourself in a way that informs the person reading the text what you are looking for in a BDSM relationship.

Learn!
Educating yourself about BDSM is highly recommended if you are a newbie. BDSM is more than handcuffs and whips, being in a BDSM relationship is a way of life. Being a novice you are not expected to know everything, but at least make an effort to familiarize yourself with relevant terms and learn what ‘control’ means in a domme-submissive relationship.

Be Honest
Be clear about your expectations and be honest not only with your potential domme but yourself as well. Jot down the things without which you cannot survive and others that you are willing to learn with time. Most importantly do not pretend to be someone else, it won’t do any good to both of you in the long-run.

Set Up A Date
When you finally decide to meet someone, make sure she sees you and not someone who is too afraid to be themselves. Again, you don’t need to be direct in telling her the amount of control you crave, rather you can work towards empowering her at every step. Let her decide where to eat when you are there let her make a decision on what to other and so on and so forth. Be a mirror reflecting what you want, if she reflects back the same amount of energy and ability to control, you have found what you were looking for!