As male submissive singles, you may have felt that there aren’t enough dominant women out there and submissive dating or BDSM dating didn’t work out too well. More and more men are now realizing the fact that female led relationships are great. However, in order to land and keep a good domme, you will need to be a great submissive too. Don’t worry if things are hard at the start because as time both of you will learn a lot about each other.

She has her own responsibilities as a domme, but you need to focus on yours. You need to learn her preferences, likes, dislikes and wants both kink and otherwise. A BDSM relationship is not all about kink after all.

Make Conscious Efforts to Obey Her
As a submissive, your first and foremost duty is to…well, submit to her at all times. There are no little or larger ways of being a submissive, everything counts and she will notice each of your efforts and actions. However, you are as important a stakeholder in this relationship as she is and obeying her should never mean abandoning your needs.

Your needs come second, her needs come first, and everything is third to that. As a domme, she will be trying her best to take care of your desires, but if you feel something lacking, talk to her. Communication is crucial in BDSM dating and relationships. Only let go of things you want if you consider abandoning your needs and only catering to hers as being submissive.

Dommes are Humans Too
A subject extensively discussed in the BDSM date world is that of aftercare for submissives. Is it possible that your authoritative, powerful, who controls the power exchange and maybe your life too, needs aftercare? We all have different kinks and fetishes and for a perfect scene, both the mistress and submissive have to get into their roles. Out of the two, the mistress’s role is more stressful since she has to take care of you too and is responsible for not abusing the power you have trusted her with.

The aftercare for dominants isn’t exactly similar to that of the submissive. Telling your dominatrix how amazing it is for you to be with her and be able to share your fetishes with her can be empowering for a dominatrix. It is not only a nice thing to say, but it also tells that she’s on the right track.

Don’t Hold That Safeword Back
You’ve most probably agreed to a safeword. If you haven’t you should! Just like a great dominatrix is the one who has the trust of her submissive, a good submissive is someone who is trusted equally by his domme. She trusts him to speak up when it gets too much. If she knows you will not hold back from using the safeword, only then will you and her push each other’s boundaries.

However, if for whatever reason she realizes that you did not use your safeword even when you were uncomfortable, you both will never be able to enjoy your relationship in the same way as it once used to be. Sure, you might still continue dating, but she’ll always remain cautious. What fun would that be? The safeword is there for a reason and not using it when needed is criminal and can hurt your BDSM date and relationship.

Agree To Terms & Abide By Them
Just like a sugar arrangement, a BDSM relationship and submissive dating has some rules both the dommes and submissives agree upon right from the start. The key to a successful, long-term relationship is to always stick to those terms. You may think that you are alone, she isn’t around and you might break this rule for just this time. She may not be there to see and but you’ve still broken a rule, you’ve crossed a line.

BDSM and submissive dating is based on fantasies of a complex human mind. It is a domme’s fantasy to get her feet worshipped just like it is a submissive’s to get tied up and spanked. It is these fantasies on the basis of which the rules are made and if you break those rules you are disturbing the base of your relationship. Don’t ever cheat on your better.

Lead The Way At Times
As a submissive, it can be very easy to forget your role. You may think the domme is in control but leaving everything to her can be exhausting for her. This isn’t just her relationship, it’s yours too which is why a submissive should always have their opinions and thoughts heard.

This is not saying you should challenge her position as a dominant. You’d still be her submissive and when both parties are happy, it means more room for exploring and even pushing each other’s kinks and fetishes to other levels. She won’t mind this and would actually be excited to see your interest in continuing the power exchange relationship you have going.