Any BDSM relationship has numerous factors responsible for its success. The most crucial of these are consent from both partners and constant care for each other’s well being and needs. However, both of these important factors can come into practice only if you have a trusted partner around. And trust comes when a dominant and a submissive have a connection to build their relationship on – something to hold the d/s dynamic together. As a submissive, would you let a domme you do not trust scar, mark, or brand you or indulge in extreme BDSM with you? Even if you both do exercise some of the basic BDSM stuff when in a scene, taking things up a notch requires a trustworthy connection. When a bottom and their master trust each other enough to stick to their limits, only then does the submissive completely give up control to their dominant. A submissive who knows that their dom will take care of them as much as possible and a domme who trust the submissive to not take this care for granted.

Connection & Trust within a D/S Dynamic
Any layman would think the dominant is in total control of any BDSM relationship, but did you know trust has to mostly come from the submissive? However, even though trust towards a submissive by their dom is talked about less often, but that too very important nonetheless. This points towards a fact we all know: any relationship is a two-way street. When there’s a genuine connection between BDSM partners, the domme knows they can trust the submissive to communicate no matter what the circumstances. They know their submissive will follow their commands and will only utter the safe word when their limits have been reached. For a submissive, commitment to power exchange requires a 100% trust in their dominant as well – one where they’re both honest and communicative at all times. BDSM is a journey of sexual exploration and cannot come to those who do not believe in strengthening the connection with one another.

Forming a Connection & The Role of Communication
The role communication plays in any relationship, be it vanilla or BDSM, is undeniable. Communication enables partners to talk when things go south, and this in turn helps them reform a connection that may be broken. When transparent communication is a given, any submissive can surrender all they have for their dominant, enabling their d/s dynamic to grow. The need for this honest communication becomes tenfold when partners decide to indulge in extreme forms of BDSM. Giving someone control of your body and mind is no child’s plan. In a BDSM relationship, one is practically opening themselves to another, both emotionally and physically! It takes immense girt to talk about your kinks and fetishes, especially those that are quite uncommon. Establishing a connection means your partner is a stranger anymore and won’t judge you. As a result, both partners can discuss their fetishes, which is a sure way of then watching these kinks come to life in a BDSM scene.

Measuring Compatibility in BDSM
Obviously, no one wants to spend an eternity in figuring out if the dominant or submissive in front of them would be a good match especially when talking Extreme BDSM, scars, markings, and branding. There’s too much fish in the sea out there to be stuck with someone who’s not right for you. No one can tell if a relationship would work when it is just starting. However, there are signs that can point towards if the relationship has enough in it to make it work for a master and their slave.

BDSM isn’t everything…
No submissive or dominant will be involved in a scene 24/7, which means there will be times when you’ll just be leading a normal life in each other’s presence. Even in the case of total power exchange and Extreme BDSM, partners will find spare time on their hands. This is why, when dating a potential long-term partner, see if they have non-BDSM activities that are similar to your interests. Don’t hesitate to ask about their lifestyle and what they like to do in their free time. When you enjoy being around submissive or domme, the time you spend in a BDSM scene would become easier as well. Obviously, submitting to or dominating someone who you can’t stand isn’t ideal at all.

Fill Out a BDSM Checklist
The easiest and valuable, in terms of return, method to judge compatibility for a strong connection, is to fill out a BDSM checklist. Not all that you both check would be the same, but if everything’s different, then there’s your clue. On the other hand, if most of the things match, others that don’t can be taken care of with a little compromise from each party.

Same Kinky Expectations
If you dominant is looking for an open relationship and you’re looking for something that’s more exclusive, then the relationship would absolutely be a no-go. Such major differences can become a massive hurdle when partners are eyeing compatibility. Make sure to discuss your expectations from this relationship with your domme or slave. Expectations and needs that match are a sure way of knowing that relationship will, most definitely, last longer.

No Respect, No Connection
Respect, connection, trust and consent are all linked together. No submissive puts out for a dominant they don’t respect. Ask yourself, does the person you’re dating respect yourself enough to take care of your needs? BDSM is all about consent, but without respect, the dynamic can shift from consensual BDSM to abuse very quickly. With a respecting partner at your side, you can discuss setting limits and penalties if they are violated, safeguarding your interests and yourself in return.