Female Led Relationships can be simple defined as a relationship between dominant women and submissive men. Although the concept of women having a role as a top in a relationship originated in kink, the phrase is now often used to describe a vanilla relationship as well, where the female has a dominating role. Similarly, a Female Led Marriage is one where the female plays the role of a decision-maker is the main driving force behind a relationship.

Women have more power in a female-led relationship and this can translate into making decisions about sex, intimacy, financials or the power exchange dynamic. The domme’s wants and needs are prioritised in an FLR. Although the submissive’s needs are ignored altogether, the mistress in an FLR decides when to propose to take things to the next level. In some female-led relationships, all it means is that in addition to having more power inside the bedroom, gender roles are reversed outside of it. This can mean the man carrying our house chores while the woman relaxes after a long day at work. In BDSM and kink, at the core of FLR lies pleasure. A submissive enjoys facilitating his domme around the house or her being in control.

Types of FLRs
In BDSM, the power exchange dynamic is often defined by the experience of a dominant and submissive. One can’t expect a novice submissive to transition to extreme forms of BDSM in a few days and the domme has to acknowledge that. Female-led relationships too have several levels. In beginner FLRs, the women does has some control but it is far from having total control over a submissive. In newer female-led relationships, the gender roles might be reversed. For instance, the female may be making more money than her submissive and thus have more control over the financial side of the relationship. She makes all the major decisions in a relationship and dictates most of what goes on inside the bedroom. Beginner level FLRs have more negotiation involved in the decision-making process. Communication is at the heart of such relationships because both partners are still getting to know each other.

There there’s the state of total control. This is obviously for the more experienced domme and submissive. This constitutes to the dominant having complete control over the sub 24/7. The man submits to her domme and embraces a dedicated lifestyle of total power exchange. At the core of such relationships are consent, safety and sanity. The domme understands that there is a thin line between abuse and dominating their submissive and promises to keep their submissive safe at all times.

How to Serve the Domme
A great submissive’s best qualities are being honest and loyal in female led marriage. Any submissive who can be counted on by their dominant to always carry out the tasks given no matter the circumstances is the best one. In addition to this, Domme’s hate submissive who become doormats. She likes a man who communicates openly and then lets her be in charge. As a submissive, you should know that your domme has the authority in a female-led BDSM relationship. You shouldn’t be bothered by if she’s present or not and carry out the tasks given regardless.

How to Take Care of the Submissive
When a slave submits to his domme, he looks to her to keep him safe. It is the domme’s responsibility to take care of the submissive. When deciding on altering the d/s dynamic, a dominant should always keep communication lines open. She should include him in the conversation more often and let him know that although she’s in charge, she cares for him. She acknowledges her submissive’s feelings and for her, he comes first. This communication leads to trust which in turn translates to a stronger bond between a top and bottom.

Another important in of caring for a submissive is after-care. Once done with the BDSM routine for a day, a dominant shouldn’t feel hesitant to cuddle her submissive and thank him for a job well done. A caring dominant will have any submissive feeling positive in no time. After they feel relaxed, you can maybe take some time off the d/s dynamic and watch a movie together.

Mutual Respect in Female Led Relationships
Respect is the foundation of any BDSM relationship. It is as important as any part of the d/s dynamic and contributes heavily to a healthy and long-lasting BDSM relationship. A submissive can only communicate with a dominant if they respect them. Respect ultimately leads to trust. BDSM is a journey towards sexual exploration, and any submissive will be willing to move to the next level of this epic journey with a dominant they have respect for and trusts to take care of him.

How to Keep Kink Fresh
Any relationship can get boring if it keeps going in circles without experiencing something new together now and then. The journey to sexual exploration is no different. Since a BDSM relationship has intimacy at its core, it is important to keep the kink excitement on a high at all times.

If a dominant and submissive keep acting out the same routines all year long, one of them is bound to get tired of it. This is why change and moving to the next level is always met with open arms in any BDSM relationship. There are several ways to keep experiencing new stuff in a female-led relationship. One simple way is to keep BDSM checklists, tick of the stuff that you’ve already experienced, and decide on an interval to regularly check on back on activities that you haven’t indulged in yet. A sub and domme could also agree on a period, after which they will have to sit and decide to include something new to their routine. Shaking the everyday routine can make a huge impact when it comes to keeping your partner interested in your BDSM relationship.