If you have been watching your fair share of porn, this should not come to you as a surprise: most women like their hair being pulled during foreplay and sex! However, exciting your partner with hair pulling takes on a whole new meaning in the BDSM world. The hair pulling in any BDSM dynamic does not remain like what it would be in any vanilla relationship. Instead, it can be much more intense, include more pain for pleasure and take the form of a fetish – hair fetish. This happens when two partners mutually decide to use hair as a tool for sexual arousal, which could happen by touching, pulling, caressing or even just seeing. Moreover, when it comes to hair, people tend to have different preferences. For some, straightened hair would mean indifference, but for others, the thought for their partner having curled may equal to a major turn-on.

Why Hair?
Let’s face it, most of us love pulling hair or getting their hair pulled. But, have you ever thought why do we all do that? The reasons for this are both psychological and physiological. The physical of the reasoning to why hair pulling invokes sexual arousal entails that our hair, obviously connected to our scalp and neck, also have a lot of nerve endings connected to them. Most of these nerve endings are on the lower end of the scalp – just where the scalp ends as we move towards the back of our necks. This is exactly why having our heads massaged feels so good!

Some have even reported a specific liking towards a ‘feeling’ they experience when getting their hair cut. All this and more has to do with the same nerve endings we have in our scalp and at the back of the neck, which is why, when done right, hair pulling feels amazing.

On the other hand, if you have been a BDSM practitioner for even a brief time, you’d understand why getting the hang of psychological reasoning for any activity is so easy. For those unaware, this is because EVERYTHING in BDSM has a lot to with the mind. Getting one’s hair pulled, means one’s dominant is asserting themselves on their submissive – which is the foundation of a BDSM relationship.

Spice It Up
Looking to excite your BDSM partner in a new way or want to take your hair-pulling experience up a notch? Like any other activity in the BDSM world, hair pulling has a lot of potential for growth as a submissive and dominant grow in their relationship. We all know the importance of building anticipation when acting out any scene, which is why we’d advise you always start things slow before really going at it. Move your hand on the back of their head, let them imagine what you’re about to do next. Once you feel you’ve found a place where you can get a hold of their hair with fair contribution from all their scalp and a bit of those on the neck, gradually tighten your grip.

When thinking of taking things up a level, notice their reactions and decide whether you’d want your submissive to anticipate some more or is it the right time to let them feel. It should also be noted, that some of us would like their hair pulled while doggy-styling, while others would want it while they’re going down on you. Hair pulling, as a standalone activity, wouldn’t mean much; it is rather about finding just the perfect activity to supplement it with.

Is There a Wrong Way to Pull Hair?
Hair pulling may seem straightforward and it is, however, there a few measures you can take to make it a more pleasurable experience for your submissive. Hold their hair from as close as possible to their neck and not from the ends of the hair. The more closer your grip is to their scalp/neck, the more nerve endings you’ll activate.

Moving on, we all know the importance of consent in any relationship, be it vanilla or BDSM. We also know we all have a different level and intensity we’re or would want to be exposed to. What might be workable for one, would not be for another. Communicate your level clearly. A dominant is to always remind mindful of the fact that their sub is their responsibility during a BDSM scene. He or she might be deprived of the right to speak or act freely, which is why a dominant has to always be observant of reactions and respect safe words or gestures.