It goes without saying that compatibility has a huge role in deciding the fate of any BDSM relationship and dominatrix and submissive couple. Chemistry and compatibility are often confused; while chemistry is all about a perfect moment together, being compatible with one another goes a long way when it comes to building a sustainable relationship. Compatibility is much more than what kind of coffee she likes or a similar sport that you both enjoy watching. It comprises of various different things and is affected or influenced by our past experiences, good or bad, and our views on some of the most vital aspects of our everyday lives.
When we go on our first date with a certain someone, we make sure we are our best selves, we try to be as nice as we can but being in a relationship is very different from a moment two people share at a fancy restaurant. It is about consistency and taking care of the couples’ ‘mutual’ needs unless…you are in a relationship with a domme.
When you think about being in a dom/sub relationship, it can turn you on in an instant. Sharing your hidden sexual desires, your wildest fetish and kink with someone can attract many but what most people don’t realise is that being in a relationship with a domme is much more than that moment of kneeling down to your dominatrix, it’s a lifestyle and that is why compatibility is even more important in such a relationship.
In any other relationship, when a couples reach a point that is just not acceptable to one of them, they would argue on it until a conclusion is reached but being in a relationship is different due to obvious reasons. Arguing is just not an option, she wants you to obey her at all times and difference of opinion can be relationship threatening. Most people rush into dom/sub relationships thinking it would be as simple as the submissive obeying his mistress whereas it’s not that simple. Just like any other relationship, adapting to a domme’s certain desires is a long-term process.
You should know there a lot of fetishes out there; what if you’re not into the type of kinky stuff she likes? What if you want to be spanked but she wants you to run around doing errands, take her dog out for a walk or she simply isn’t in the mood? Moreover, it shouldn’t be implied that everybody would enjoy everything. As stated earlier, there are a lot of different fetishes out there and we all are different people governed by different emotions.
Sexual compatibility is one of the most important pillars of a successful long-term relationship, so what can be done to find out if you and your domme or sub are on the same page when it comes to sex, kink and a certain kind of fetish. Well, there’s only one way to find out; honest communication. Firstly, before even beginning the conversation with your partner, accept the fact that they are a different person with their own set of likes and dislikes. Communicate clearly and honestly about what you like and be willing to listen to their answer patiently.
If there’s still something that bothers you after you’re done talking to each other, go home and think if in future you can pick up on a certain fetish they like and you don’t. Will you be willing to try and learn it with them? Dating a dominatrix is immensely different from a one-night stand and until you can understand what your domme desires you can’t become the sub of her dreams. Understanding each other would mean your mistress would have the most obedient slave and you would have the best dominatrix which would lead towards a long and healthy relationship.