Humiliation, in the BDSM context, means triggering strong emotional buttons for sexual arousal. It is a psychological technique used by a domme on a submissive and while in literal terms it would mean bringing some down to the ground, in BDSM relationships humiliation can be verbal or physical. Humiliation also varies vastly on the submissive’s preferences and what he personally thinks qualifies as degradation or humiliation. Humiliation can be as simple as walking a step behind the dominant or only speaking when a domme speaks to you first. Humiliation in BDSM relationships is a vast topic including many types of intense or light humiliation techniques because of which a high degree of consent and communication is needed to make sure both the domme and submissive enjoy the experience.

Misconceptions about Humiliation
Humiliation is probably the most uncommon fetish even among people who are involved in BDSM relationships. Not everyone who likes BDSM likes humiliation because explaining to people that why being humiliated appeals to people is difficult. Humiliation can appeal to people under the right circumstances and with the right people, it can create extreme sexual arousal. Psychologists argue that reason for humiliation being associated with sexual arousal is that since we are born sex and sexuality is something that is related to shame and guilt. This shame eventually becomes attached to sexual arousal which is why some find humiliation sexy.

So, why would one degrade some they care about? Basically, humiliation is not exactly about making the submissives feel degraded and worthless. There is a very slight difference between humiliation and degradation. Humiliation comes under the umbrella of BDSM powerplay and if done right both can enjoy it. When a submissive is humiliated by a dominatrix in any way, he knows that the words she’s using or the activity involved is only a form of play and his domme is only using certain words or techniques because it turns him on. The emotional response of being embarrassed or feeling ashamed because of humiliation is real but it only lasts until the BDSM play time is over.

Preparing Your Submissive
Once you’ve decided to let your submissive know that you’d like humiliation to be incorporated into your BDSM playtime, don’t rush. Make him sit down with you and communicate your desires first. As stated earlier, humiliation in BDSM can range from light to intense activities so it is possible a submissive would enjoy some forms of humiliation and not be open to other intense forms of degradation. This makes it extremely important for a domme to learn about the levels of humiliation her submissive is ok with.