When any new submissive single starts their journey in the BDSM world, excited to be with their lifestyle mistress, all they can think of serving to be is sexual play. However, as many of your experienced submissive friends would tell you, being of service to your mistress in a BDSM relationship is way more than play. In fact, in several d/s dynamics, a slave does not have any sexual activity with their domme but is still serving her.

This form of serving is more applicable to BDSM relationships between a lifestyle mistress and her slave. If you are a lonely submissive single wondering how to serve your new-found lifestyle mistress we’ve got your covered. Servitude in your BDSM relationship could mean you running errands for your domme, doing household chores to lessen or share her load, and much more. A submissive and dominant get to decide what service encompasses in their BDSM relationship. The process starts with getting to know each other first. However, even before that, a submissive should have an idea of what service means to him individually.

Serving Your Lifestyle Mistress: Needs and Wants
Figuring out how you’d be able to serve your dominatrix isn’t always easy. This is because we are all different humans with different needs and wants. Anything that qualifies as basic to our survival is a need and anything that we’d desire to be there in addition to these needs would be labelled as your wants. However, our wants are always connected or are an extension of our needs. For instance, having food is a need, but, wishing for a sumptuous burger for lunch is a want. Similarly, a submissive and domme have needs and wants which they expect to fulfill from every BDSM relationship they’re in.

As humans, deep down, we always know what our needs are, and as a submissive, you’d have that in your mind too. Figure out what is it your absolutely need from your relationship and what is some stuff you’d be able to compromise on. Wants tend to change over the course of a BDSM relationship. As the relationship matures, both the submissive and dominants discover more kinks, or simply want to take things up a notch. However, you still need a starting point to begin with. Once you know your needs as a submissive, put in some effort getting to familiarize yourself with your mistress’s needs and wants and build your servitude around those.

Lifestyle Mistress: Who are they and how to serve them?
Your lifestyle dominatrix is miles apart from your regular dominatrix and this is why your d/s dynamic with a lifestyle mistress would differ from that with a professional dominatrix. Lifestyle dominants are about long term companionship, contrary to other no strings attached BDSM experience you might have had. Encounters with a professional dominatrix are very much limited to pain, pleasure and sexual play. Contrarily, a relationship with a lifestyle mistress demands a submissive be in a d/s dynamic and ready to serve 24/7.

When in a lifestyle BDSM relationship, the definition of service extends from fetishes and kinks to virtually anything you could think of. Hence, before entering a relationship with a lifestyle mistress, ask yourself this. Would I be happy with doing chores, that have nothing to do with me, for my mistress?

The possibilities of what a submissive could do for his lifestyle mistress are endless. If your domme has a lot of clerical work, you could become her personal assistant and help her with emails, sorting data, scheduling meetings and more. If your dominant is someone who loves to take care of her hygiene and body, she could ask you to become a body servant, helping her keep herself clean or give her a massage after every workout. From cleaning to cooking, what you want to do as a submissive looking to serve their mistress is completely up to you and your domme.

Finding Fulfillment When Serving a Mistress
To be honest, a part of the responsibility of keeping the submissive lies on a dominant’s shoulders. A great domme knows how to make a submissive feel appreciated. Submissives want to make their dominant happy, they do it for the reward and sometimes the prize can be as simple as a Mistress acknowledging her slave’s efforts. However, submissive shouldn’t feel entitled to praise from their dominant.

A submissive shouldn’t serve a dominant so he can earn some praise, he should be doing it because being of use to his domme makes him happy. Once a submissive starts with this mindset, he wouldn’t have trouble finding satisfaction in his BDSM relationship. Of course, with time, a submissive would realize the aspects of servitude he enjoys the most. With communication lines always open in a BDSM relationship, he can always let his mistress know of the same and leave it on her to have him experience some of what her slave likes.

Why Submissives Fail with Lifestyle Dommes
A domme would always want the best submissive for her. She has expectations and she wants her submissive to meet them. Obviously, no one can have all of their expectations fulfilled and that’s where negotiation comes in. A submissive should always communicate if he isn’t comfortable with anything in a d/s dynamic. Any slave who doesn’t do that isn’t being respectful to their relationship and no dominant likes that.

Also, a dominant knows that we all have bad days and her submissive does too. When in a 24/7 lifestyle d/s dynamic, a submissive is to bound to have moments where they aren’t perfect. However, a submissive who is always looking to take their frustration out on their relationship is just pushing their dominant away. A domme shouldn’t be the one chasing a submissive around. Any d/s dynamic works on power exchange and when that gets disturbed so does the relationship.