If you are still to hear about the spanking fetish you’ve probably been living under a rock, getting spanked and this fetish is now widely recognized as one of the most enjoyed punishments in BDSM and kink! Spanking remains one of the most googled fetishes as well, however, as simple as it may seem, it is not.
Just like any other fetish, the spanking kink has a lot of different levels which is why it is important to know the level you are at so you and your submissive or dominant partner have a better idea of where to start when trying to exploring impact play. For some getting fit by their dominant on the face may qualify as an extreme, for others, it may just be very normal. Spanking may be termed as a punishment, however, if you have never been a part of any BDSM scene, it may come to you as a surprise when you see spanking being labeled as a source of pain and yet be enjoyed. BDSM practitioners love spanking because it is the most basic and for many the first step to start pushing their body to the limit.
If you haven’t experienced a fetish yet, especially as a submissive, inflicting or enjoy pain may seem like a practice that is somehow wrong. However, we assure you that it is not, instead BDSM partners are some of the most empowered individuals as they are the ones who have decided to take control fo their life and own who they are.
A Journey of Sexual Exploration
Once you have decided you want to start exploring spanking as a kink, your first step, regardless of if you are a submissive or domme, should be to discuss the same with your partner. BDSM starts and ends with honest communication at all times and the communication does not even stop during intense BDSM scenes with the safe word coming into play. Once both parties have agreed to go down the road of sexual exploration, you both need to define limits, and the dos and don’t of spanking. What works for you might not work for him! Depending on the level of your BDSM relationship, spanking can be taken many extremes. You can start from the cliche act of spanking one’s ass during sex to spanking as a standalone activity with your dominant slapping your face.
Spanking – Moderate to Hardcore
From bare hands to whips ad chains, the spanking fetish has it all. It very depends on the BDSM partners on what they want to incorporate as a part of this fetish. Before diving right into intense spanking sessions, both partners need to understand where to get started. Will the spanking be more of light impact play during another scene or will be practiced as a standalone hardcore spanking and slapping activity?
The Science of Spanking
Have you ever wondered why does it feel so good to get spanked? To figure this out, you and your partner will first to familiarise yourself with the ‘why’ of this fetish and then ‘what’ works for you. Take time out to read an informative blog regarding the subject; you’ll find many in your blog section. If you are in the mood of experimentation, you could both get in bed and start watching spanking videos and practicing a bit of the act along the way.
If you are someone who is already familiar with the extremes spanking can go to, please make sure that you choose content that your partner does not get offended by or scared of. The goal is to develop a comfort level first and enjoy later.
Dos and Don’ts
The biggest you could make when starting to explore the fetish is to start right away without a warm-up. Don’t just start slapping them on your chest right away, much like great sex you need to build towards extremes. Start lighter by playfully spanking their ass to get the blood circulation going. Let them take their time as they guess what’s next. Make sure you both know what you are doing and a safeword is ready to be used when needed. Also assure your partner that you would only be using the tools if any, that they have approved.
As a submissive, your partner will only be comfortable in pushing their limits if they know they can trust you as their dominant and won’t leave them as soon as the scene is over. Also, it is your responsibility as a dominant to not get carried away in the spur of the moment and forget the difference between abusing and dominating. A submissive needs to truly let go to be controlled by their dominant and a dominant needs to always practice control!
Don’t Leave Them Hanging
Your BDSM scene with your submissive would most probably not be your last one which is why it is important to prepare for the next scene once the current one is over. You can do this by offering to cuddle at the end of the spanking session and listen to how they felt or discuss what one of you wanted more. Leaving them stranded after a scene is completely unethical and would leave a negative impact. Once your submissive knows that you will still be around to care for them once the scene is over, they will gladly work with you to push their limits even farther.
