A simple definition of impact fetish would be applying any exerting pressure by force, however, it becomes ‘impact play’ when a dominant and submissive in a BDSM relationship use impact for sexual pleasure. The most example of impact play, also one of the most familiar forms of kinks, is spanking. BDSM couples do indulge in more advanced acts of impact play, the intensity of which is defined by their d/s dynamic. Moreover, impact play is not limited to BDSM relationships only. Similar to many other kinks and fetishes, impact play is very mainstream, and a vanilla couple may be practicing this fetish without even knowing.
Impact Play may start slow, however, a dominant and submissive opt for several different toys to make their play even more enjoyable, or intense. From a bare hand to whips, it is up to partners in a BDSM arrangement to decide how they’d like to experience impact. While diving right into intense play sessions might sound appealing, it is always better to start slow and know your partner before taking things up a notch. Remember, BDSM is always safe and consensual.
Starting Out with Impact Play
So, you’ve learned about this fetish and are wondering if this would an exciting new dynamic to your BDSM arrangement; but what’s next? Do you just bring up the topic in during a steamy scene? Nope. Regardless of if you are a submissive or dominant, you should always be communicating about your needs to your partner well before you imagine yourself being on the receiving end of it. The step of this communication part is to simply let them know what you want. From there on you can discuss whether or not they’re interested and including or excluding what parts would make them want to experience it with you.
The purpose of communicating things this way before your experiencing it is a find a happy balance between what works and what won’t. This also gives you both time to learn about impact play and decide the intensity levels you’re going for. Always better to have it all figured out instead of wondering during a scene whether or not your partner would be ‘ok’ with experimenting with something.
Safety First, Always
As an experienced BDSM practitioner, you’d know safety is as important a part of the d/s dynamic as any other. Being dominant is not all about ordering your submissive around. It is a massive responsibility. A master has to always be aware of the difference between dominating and abusing.
The easiest way to protect yourself, as a submissive, during impact play is to decide on a safe word or gesture. It is important to have both the word and gesture in case you aren’t able to use one because of your position during a scene. And don’t be shy of using the safe word when you think you’ve reached your limit. A dominant who truly cares for you won’t think you’ve chickened out.
Another great idea, if you do not want everything to halt at once when you use a safe word, is to agree on multiple safe words or gestures. This way to utter a word to signal to them to slow down and use the other one to make them stop. Different words with different purposes. When starting with impact play, a dominant could focus on areas where it would hurt less and build towards a more intense play scene or toys.
Impact Play Intensity Levels
We all have different tolerance levels. What works for one submissive won’t be desirable by another which is why not every slave would enjoy a whip. There’s a variety of toys and they all have varying ‘impact’ levels. From tickers to floggers, a submissive and dominant get to decide which ones would they use.
For instance, several partners prefer using crops at the beginning, because they are easier to get used to and have better reach on almost every part of the body. Different from paddles, which are for extreme play, crops can also be used to tease before using them to apply force. Paddles, however, are more of an alternate for spanking by hand and have a long-lasting impact in comparison to other toys.
Another incredible toy for impact play is a flogger. It has multiple short whip-lings and is great for both teasing and force play. However, if you are a couple who have had their share of using floggers, ticklers and paddles during their play and are on the lookout for your text apparatus to take things up a level, we suggest the whip. It is the ultimate impact play toy and does require usage with extreme care.
At the end of the day, only a dominant and a submissive can decide their level, which requires a lot of getting to know each other in and sometimes out of the dungeon. The best way to get into any fetish is to communicate and learn together. By doing this you aren’t only prepared but also know exactly what brings your partner the most pleasure.
