Obeying someone and losing all your control to another would normally sound scary but it is everything BDSM relationships are built upon. Obedience in a BDSM relationships means a submissive has to listen to their dominant at all times and not doing that puts them at the risk of some sort of punishment. Discipline is actually one of foundations a BDSM relationship is build upon and a key factor in any successful d/s dynamic. Since BDSM relationships are extremely calculated in the sense that almost everything is agreed upon, it is important for a submissive to not get too comfortable in a BDSM dynamic and forget what their domme expects of them. It is also equally the responsibility of a dominant to ensure that if the submissive gets too comfortable he introduces a punishment that fits the crime and keeps the slave scared of disobeying. Punishments may feel unnecessary at times, but without obedience the balance of power exchange in a d/s dynamic can’t be achieved, hence dominants must not slack in the regard.

How to Find a Fitting Punishment?
Similar to how a country’s constitution has different punishment for different crimes, a dominant is expected to come up with different punishments for all levels of disobedience. The best way to do is by observing your submissive’s actions closely and adjusting punishments accordingly. What would work for some other BDSM couple won’t necessarily work for you. A master knows their slave best, and should come up with punishments that would work for their individual personality.

Punishments can range from changing a toy that don’t like being spanked with or depriving of them any privileges or even you for some time. Similar to a lot of that goes on in BDSM, punishments can be improvised according to your submissive and your own relationship dynamics. Here are some punishment ideas that would keep your slave from straying off track.

Tedious Chores & Humiliation
By tedious chores we mean tasks that would really annoy the heck out of them but also may be help them reflect on the wrong that they did. You could ask your submissive to take notes of what they think they did wrong and narrate them to you or write you a 1000 ‘I am sorry’ notes. Again, this where you start getting creative and think of tasks that would drain a submissive the most and vow to never make that mistake again.

Another great way of punishing your submissive is humiliation. This too can have loads of variations and has the ability to affect the submissive on a deeper, emotional level. For instance, you could cut them off from watching TV and using social media for a few days or have them bend on all fours for a while. You could order your male sub to model for in a frock while you photograph them or shave some hair off of your female slave. Humiliation and punishments can take several forms taking inspiration from culture, gender or individual preferences.

Orgasm Denial
Another amazingly effective technique of punishing your submissive is denying them of their right to ejaculate. This is ultimate in punishments, as it deprives them of their own pleasure. It reiterates to them about who is in control in their relationship and can help a lot of your submissive has been misbehaving a lot lately. Orgasm denial can set the record straight in reminding a submissive of the assertion you as a domme and convey to them that they are only allowed to their right to pleasure once they start behaving well.

Silent Treatment
This works particularly well when you have a submissive who is always hungry for attention. Silent treatment does not just mean keeping quiet, rather it means depriving them of every way they could get your attention. If you are living apart from each other, this would mean not attending to their calls or messages and basically letting them know that while you have not broken up with them, they have no right to your time and attention.

Similarly, if you living together, depriving them of attention could mean locking them in a room or just separating yourself from all the activities you previously did together. It is important to not that, the timing and the time frame of punishments such as this one matter the most. You don’t want to ghost yourself from their life, the idea is to be accessible in some form the whole time so they have a chance to ask for forgiveness.

Many novice dominants would be surprised to know that submissives actually except to be punished. They like to know that they have a dominant who actually cares if their slave steps out of line. Punishment, in BDSM, is reflective of the effort the dominant is willing to put in to make the relationship work. Besides if a domme just left everything to the slave and not hold them accountable, that would disturb the idea of d/s dynamic in its entirety. It could also make the slave feel that their master just does not care about how and what they do.

No matter how hard, punishments are necessary. They are like honest communication in a regular relationship, except instead of sitting together to talk about what’s wrong, you dominant points that to and expects you to make things right. Once the submissive repents, both BDSM partners can move on knowing that they are ideal partners for each other – those how care about the relationship they are in and would do anything to help sustain the agreed upon standards of their d/s dynamic.